


Unknown Lover

by hollowbirds (torturousthings)



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, M/M, Ryden, it's modern day ryden, ryden oneshot, so this is based on zack's livestream today
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 06:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11891805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torturousthings/pseuds/hollowbirds
Summary: Radio games are stupid. Really stupid. Especially those confession ones.Until someone you know from too long ago calls in.





	Unknown Lover

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to kimberley @stray_dog_sick for actually watching zack's livestream and filling me in on what happened ily

 “Alright, folks,” the radio anchor said. “And now it’s time for our interactive round! Have you ever had a secret you’ve never told anyone? Something you’ve always wanted to get off your chest? Call 1-800-934-7635 to share your secret with the world, anonymously!” 

 

Zack huffed to himself and pressed harder on the accelerator. He hated it when games like that played on the radio. Fucking stupid people. They all think themselves so important, that other people give a shit about whether they live or die. 

 

A woman dialled in, her voice unsteady. 

 

“I, uh— I’m sexually— sexually attracted to owls,” she choked out, and Zack tried to suppress a burst of laughter. Owls, really? He didn’t even want to _think_ about what that would imply. 

 

“How the fuck would you do your thing, lady?” He asked the radio, even if no one would hear. “Jesus.” 

 

It was definitely rush hour. Who knew that running errands for Brendon would have meant being stuck in traffic for two hours. A few more people called, a girl with a foot fetish, a guy with a crush on his 45 year old teacher. Someone complaining about their neighbour. 

 

“I was in love with my bandmate for eight years,” a voice said, and Zack tore his eyes off the road to stare at the radio, as if it had just started spewing glitter. It might as well have been, because the voice playing through the speakers was one that Zack could never forget. 

 

“Are you fucking kidding me,” he said, fumbling with his phone to try to find the voice recording app. “Are you actually fucking k—” 

 

He finally found it, and hastily pressed the red button, starting the recording. Thank fuck the voice wasn’t done yet. Static played through the car speakers as the person tried to find his words. 

 

“I— I guess I just wish I’d told him,” he went on, and Zack’s heart contracted at the thought of the boy clinging to his phone like a buoy, nearing tears. “Maybe that would’ve changed things.” 

 

“Jesus,” Zack whispered. “Ry.” 

 

He hadn’t known. No one had known. 

 

The phone call stopped, the obnoxious radio anchor tuning in again. 

 

“Oooh, we have some lover’s regrets on our hands, don’t we?” 

 

Zack pressed on the red button again. That was all he needed. 

 

“Shut the fuck up,” he growled at the radio, which had already started playing the next confession. He turned it down. 

 

Jesus. 

 

So that was why. 

  

 

 

***

 

“Hey, man,” Brendon said as Zack walked in, carrying the two plastic bags full of random snacks he'd promised to get. Goddamned shop, of course the Doritos they all preferred were only sold on the other fucking side of town. He put the bags down in the entrance. The look on his face must’ve been as distraught as he felt because Brendon frowned and stood up from the couch he’d been sitting in. Penny jumped off from his lap, letting out an indignant yelp. 

 

“What is it?” He asked, clearly concerned. Zack wasn’t usually distraught. 

 

For a second, Zack thought about not telling Brendon at all, letting it all be in the past. Maybe there was no point in reopening an old wound, no point in poking at a scar that had healed long ago, but taken ages not to hurt anymore. The split had been tough on everyone, but Brendon had been the worst. Ryan hadn’t explained anything. 

 

But now it was clear. Why he left, why he didn’t say a word. 

 

Brendon deserved to know. 

 

Plus, if Ryan had been on the fucking radio, it meant that he had nothing more to hide, right? It could as well have been Brendon in the car, Brendon hearing him. It didn’t matter that it was supposed to be anonymous. Zack knew fucking well that Brendon would never forget his former bandmate’s voice, either. 

 

He fished his phone out of his pocket and walked closer to Brendon. 

 

“I think you gotta hear this,” he said, opening up the recording app. The only saved recording sat there, twelve seconds only. Twelve seconds that changed everything about the split. 

 

They’d all hated Ryan. Brendon had yelled at him, tears in his eyes and curses in his mouth. Zack could still hear it. 

 

“You have no fucking right!” 

 

Ryan had just walked out. Said nothing. 

 

He pressed the play button and turned the volume all the way up, the background noise of the car so loud that he feared they wouldn’t hear Ryan. 

 

Brendon put his hands on his hips, still frowning, leaning towards the phone. 

 

“… _I— I guess I just wish I’d told him,_ ” the voice said, and Brendon’s eyes went wide. So Zack had been right in thinking Brendon would never forget. _“Maybe that would’ve changed things.”_

 

Brendon looked up at Zack in disbelief as the recording went on to play the radio anchor’s voice before cutting off.  


“Is that—” 

 

Zack nodded. Brendon played it again and took a step back as Ryan’s voice rang through the shitty phone speakers again, as if he’d been shot. 

 

“How— Where did you—”

 

“Radio,” Zack said in a low voice. “The fucker went on an anonymous confession spree.” 

 

“Wait, told him what? What didn’t he tell me? It’s me he’s talking about, right?” 

 

Zack nodded again and repeated the words that had preceded the recording. He hated himself a bit for not having had a quick enough reaction time to have caught everything. 

 

Brendon put his hands in his hair, taking another step back. 

 

“Fuck, so that was why— That’s why he—”

 

Zack stared at him. Brendon turned away. 

 

“Fuck!” Brendon yelled, and Zack put his phone away hastily, as if that would erase everything they’d just listened to. “Fuck!” 

 

“Listen,” Zack started, but Brendon whirled around. 

 

“No, Zack, _you_ fucking listen,” he said, eyes bright. “We could’ve worked this out if he'd just told me— If he’d just _said_ something, Jesus, Ryan, why didn’t you say anything?” He started pacing towards the back door, mumbling incoherently. 

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Zack said. “It’s in the past. At least now we know the truth.” 

 

“No,” Brendon said, his voice breaking. “The truth is—” He laughed bitterly. “Truth is that I was in love with him too.” His hands dropped to his sides. “I was head over heels in love, Zack, and he just left. He just left." 

 

“Oh, fuck.” 

 

How had he been blind enough? Two lovestruck band members right under his nose, and yet Zack hadn’t noticed. They’d become too fucking good at hiding it. 

 

“Yeah, “oh, fuck.” That’s fucking right.” Brendon dropped onto the couch. 

 

“I’m sorry, Brendon. I’m sorry.” 


End file.
